I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
