Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
