sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
