If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
