I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
