I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
