I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
