Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
