Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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