I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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