Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize