I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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