Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
