U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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