i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
