He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
