you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
