I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
