Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
