I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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