I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
