i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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