Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
