You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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