Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
