I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize