How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
