watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
