Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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