So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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