i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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