Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
