He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
