Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
