just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
