i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
