Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
