Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
