Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
