You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
