Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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