And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
