She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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