Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
