you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My vagina just recognized that song.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
