Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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