Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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