this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
