I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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