a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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