She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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