quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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