the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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