Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
