haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
