Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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