Moan for me like Helen Keller
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
