Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
