well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
