sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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