Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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