This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
