u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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