Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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