"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
