That's intense
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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